Training Center

He nodded and looked at me and I wanted to go to him so bad but I waited, not wanting to spook him. And her asshole husband was watching me too." Tyler

"Easy? You think any of this is easy? You think the shit in my head is easy?" Quin

"This is Tyler. Your dad." Grace

"No, and you aren't the only one. And to give up now after all of this is fucked up." Asher

May 30, 2017 10:07:43pm

Mason led me to the cliff side where Quin was. Asher was still there and when I approached he and Mason stepped away to give us privacy. Quin was looking down at the ground still, but he knew I was there. "Look at me," I said as sternly as possible. Aurora

May 30, 2017 10:14:55pm


"Why. I have nothing to say that you're gonna want to hear or that'll make any sense to you." Quin

May 30, 2017 10:18:45pm

"Try me. You aren't the only one who's different now." Aurora

May 30, 2017 10:26:55pm

"You're not the one that tried to step off a cliff. He should've just let me do it. It would've been better for everyone." Quin

May 30, 2017 10:30:51pm

"Do you even begin to understand what that would do to me? Or Raine? Quin, you're hurting and I understand. But I... I made a promise to Selma. I intend to keep it whether we are together or not." Aurora

May 30, 2017 11:06:21pm

"A promise to what? Keep around a psychotic monster who tries to kill people? Who fucking needs that." Quin

May 30, 2017 11:11:08pm

"I promised to take care of you. And you aren't a monster, you should stop thinking of yourself that way." Aurora

May 30, 2017 11:14:42pm

"How can I not. I get triggered and I try to go on a murder spree. How is that not a monster." Quin

May 30, 2017 11:16:47pm

"You can't help what someone else did to you. You don't see the others trying to jump, do you?" Aurora

May 30, 2017 11:18:11pm

I shook my head. "It's not the same." Quin

May 30, 2017 11:19:37pm

"Really? Because I watched the same thing happen to Preston." Aurora

May 30, 2017 11:26:40pm

"Yeah and Preston has his family back. And so does Asher. And Ian has Joy. You and the boys have Ben. They don't need me, not like I am. What happens when I wake up one day and try to kill them too." Quin

May 30, 2017 11:29:05pm

"Joy left Ian behind, Quin. And no matter who I'm with, I do need you. You were my first love and best friend. The boys need you too. More than you think." Aurora

May 30, 2017 11:55:42pm

"You didn't answer my question." I finally turned and looked at her. "I don't know what triggers me. What happens if I wake up one day and try to kill them. Or you. Or someone else we care about. What would be better - having them watch me get shot, or having me disappear before they even remember who I am." Quin

May 31, 2017 12:34:24am

"They'll always know you, I'll make sure of that regardless of what happens and you shouldn't worry about me. I'm a big girl and have confidence that I can handle you." Aurora

May 31, 2017 12:36:20am

I shook my head. "When I am on a rampage no one can handle me. You've seen that for yourself. Just let it go Aurora. It's better this way." Quin

May 31, 2017 12:17:08pm

"If you go off of that cliff, so am I." I challenged. Aurora

May 31, 2017 12:56:20pm

"Yeah right. You're stronger than I'll ever be and you would never abandon our sons. They've never known me. And they shouldn't." - Quin

May 31, 2017 1:00:47pm

"They were ripped away from me, Quin. They don't know me as much as I would like them to. Please..." I put my hand on his arm and squeezed. "Don't do something like this. Your sister will die from heartbreak if you do and I fear I would to. No matter if we are together or not. I love you and you're my best friend." Aurora

May 31, 2017 1:04:16pm

"Until I kill someone you love. Or one of our kids. How would you feel about me then. You still haven't answered that." - Quin

May 31, 2017 1:06:11pm

"I don't have an answer for something that isn't going to happen." -Aurora

May 31, 2017 1:43:42pm

"You can't guarantee that and neither can I. No one can. I've already tried to kill someone today. You gonna stand there and say that's never gonna happen again? Because I'm not willing to take that chance." - Quin

May 31, 2017 1:55:41pm

"Why are you so determined to die? Because Joy left? Keep giving yourself a bullshit excuse that you'll hurt someone when in reality if she had stayed you'd be living it up with her. Do you what you need to do then. She must be more important than your kids." Aurora

May 31, 2017 2:21:50pm

"No one is more important to me than those boys. Not even you. I can't be a father to them when I can't even say when I'm gonna flip the fuck out again." - Quin

May 31, 2017 2:23:10pm

"If that's true then you need to walk the fuck down this cliff and go get to know your kids and stop making excuses." Aurora

May 31, 2017 2:28:56pm

"How the fuck can you say it's an excuse when you've seen what I can do. What they've turned me into. I don't even think I can call myself human anymore." - Quin

May 31, 2017 2:30:38pm

"I've also seen your self control and your good moments. Don't forget that. . I've seen every part of you, Quin." -Aurora

May 31, 2017 5:22:20pm

"You don't know me anymore Aurora. You don't know anything about me. I'm not who I used to be." - Quin

May 31, 2017 5:29:28pm

"Keep telling yourself that, Quin." Aurora

Jun 01, 2017 1:38:40am

"You don't have one inkling of what they did to me while I was imprisoned, and it's the truth. So yes I will keep telling myself that." - Quin

Jun 01, 2017 1:50:53am

"And I'll never know because you won't open up and talk to me. I don't want you to die, Quinn. How many times must I suffer through that?" Aurora

Jun 02, 2017 7:24:39am

"But you want the possibility of suffering through something much worse. You have no comprehension of what I am, what I can really do, what I am now. You saw a piece of it, but that's not even the half of it." - Quin

Jun 02, 2017 1:58:04pm

I sighed deeply. If he was determined to kill himself then so be it. "Then I'm leaving, Quinn. Do I need to go tell Raine, who is already heartbroken that her brother is gone too? Decide now." -Aurora

Jun 12, 2017 8:48:39pm

We were all riding in silence on the horses we did have left. A lot of us were riding double and would have to rest the animals soon enough if we didn't want to hurt them. Instead of riding with Hawk, Joy allowed him to lead the way and opted to ride with Grey, her childhood best friend.

She want saying much, Grey had seen the despair in her eyes when she chose to leave. "We can turn this party around and go back, ya know. Just say the word." Hey head was leaned against his back and he felt her shake her head no in response to him. "Why, then? Why are you putting yourself through this?" he asked, and it was a few moments before she answered him. "I have hurt too many people. They are all better off without me. The pain and sorrow brought onto those people by my doing is... it's unforgivable. I'm not even sure who I am anymore, Grey."

He answered her almost immediately because he knew what she was thinking before she even said the words. "You know who you are. Accepting it is the problem. You are Joy Anna Hawk, a member of the Hawk family. Your captor Tywin Lannister changed your name to appease himself when you were kidnapped. After months... maybe years, you developed a sickness called Stockholm Syndrome." That's when Joy interrupted him.

"Please, Great. Stop. He loved me. He did. I know he did. Then Ian loved me and Quin did too. I betrayed all of them. I have a very stupid heart, Grey Washburn." Grey stopped the horse then and told the others to move along, he and Joy would catch up soon. They were reluctant but knew him well enough that he would do nothing without informing Hawk first. Dismounting the horse he took Joy by her waist and lifted her down. "Tywin did not love you. Do you hear me? He DID NOT love you!" he shouted at her, his hands on her shoulders and gave her a good shake. "He wanted you because he knew what you are before you did. You were a child and he used that to his advantage. Why do you think he didn't kill you? Because he needed you. He needed Ian as well, because he would be the perfect soldier to stand in front of anything that even dared to hurt you. It was just his luck that the other blonde fell for you too. Are you listening to me?"

"No! I don't want to hear it! I can't!" She screamed and fought to get away from him but she was so weak from everything she couldn't even knock his arms away. "You fell in love with Ian because he was an escape route. That's something else you won't believe but by god it's true. He fucked up your mind Joy Anna. You fell in love with Quin on your own. He protected you in the prison among other things but it was because honest feelings had developed. You are Joy Anna Hawk, in love with Quin Simmons. You've been through a lot in your life and you stand strong but tired. You are a true Hawk... the one your family legend and stories always talked about but little did we know it was all true and now we all have to question the world we are living in." He took a breath but didn't let her go. He could hear horses coming and knew Hawk was coming to check on his sister that he searched long and hard for. She was crying, but her eyes were as large as a fawn's. She was taking it in. Everything he had said.

"How did you know all of that?" she asked.

"We've been watching for awhile and learning. We couldn't act hasty, you understand."

"Oh my god... I... I have to go back. I have to go back to Quin." Hawk had just galloped up beside of them and heard what she had said and sighed deeply. Joy Anna looked up at him, her eyes were pleading now. "My brother. Take me back. Take me back and we can bring them all to live with us, they are good people. We can rebuild again. I can't take Quin away from his children and I won't be taken away from you."

"And what of Lydia then? So you trust Tywin's children that much that you would house them?"

"I do."

Grey stood back now, letting this conversation unfold. He knew Hawk had been hurt to see Lydia in the arms of another, for Joy Anna wasn't the only one he searched for. They fought like cats and dogs, true. However, their wedding day was something Hawk had looked forward to because in between the fighting there was a passion that never received the chance to fully blossom.

"I'll take you back." He reached out to her and Joy took his hand, mounting his stallion with him. Grey and the others smiled at one another and followed their leaders back to whatever hell that place was.

Jun 14, 2017 8:12:23pm

I just stared at her a minute, then looked back at the cliff, then back at her. "I don't know." - Quin

Jun 14, 2017 8:24:09pm

"Let's go back to the training center, Quinn." I said and offered him my hand. -Aurora

Jun 14, 2017 8:35:35pm

"And what then. I can't be anything anyone needs. Not anymore." - Quin

Jun 14, 2017 8:41:15pm

"Not that it matters anymore but I still need you. I always will." Aurora

Jun 14, 2017 8:42:13pm

"I'm the very last thing that you need Rory." - Quin

Jun 14, 2017 8:48:38pm

Using the nickname he'd always called her stung. No one had ever called her by that name except him. "I've needed you since we met and I'll continue to need you. I have two little boys that will be just like you, I'm sure. They are both a spitting image of you." Aurora

Jun 14, 2017 8:57:14pm

"You'll need several people to deal with them then. I was a lot more than a handful." - Quin

Jun 14, 2017 9:02:09pm

"Between us, his grandparents, and aunts and uncles. We might have it covered." Aurora

Jun 14, 2017 10:47:44pm

"I suppose it's possible. Though I still don't know why you would want me anywhere near them." - Quin

Jun 14, 2017 10:53:29pm

Because I love you. "Because you're their daddy." Aurora

"And how much of a daddy have I ever been to them." - Quin

We heard the shots at the same time, interrupting our conversation as we stood to try tl hear where they were coming from. "It's a fire fight. We have to see what's going on, Quin." Aurora

"Be prepared for me to flip out again," I said as we headed that direction as quickly as we could. - Quin