In Passing

"That I want to protect you because I love you. Not because I don't think you can protect yourself."

"And you're so in love with me that you slept with someone else?" I shook my head. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. I don't need you to protect me Caleb." The car bumped into us and my body jerked forward. I had to throw my hand against the dash to keep from banging my head. "Pull the fucking car over Caleb. Preferably before they run us off the road."

Ezra

I accelerated even more and put more distance between us and the other car. "I know what I'm doing, Ezra. Besides, I'd hate for our conversation to be interrupted." I said, and whipped the car into a u-turn, throwing those assholes off even more. "So, are you telling me that you haven't slept with Travis?"

"I never said that. I haven't been sleeping with him this whole time, but I have slept with him."

"And you think I've been sleeping around the whole time? Because I haven't." 

"I didn't say you had." I sighed. "Forget I said anything Caleb. Just tell me what you're planning on doing."

"Then what did you mean by saying that? Does it bother you that I had sex with someone else?" 

"No, it doesn't. I've moved on and I'm glad you have too. You just can't go around saying you love me when you're sleeping with someone else though."

"I haven't moved on. I didn't sleep with her because I was in love, I slept with her because I was horny after being celibate for two years." 

"Oh." I didn't say anything for a minute. "You should move on Caleb. After the way we left things... it was over between us a long time ago."

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself? I planned on coming back that night...before I was kidnapped and tortured that is. Fucking assholes." 

"I don't need to convince myself of anything. And... maybe it's for the best that you weren't able to come back. Not what happened, I wish I could kill those bastards all over again. I wasn't in any place to make our relationship work though."

"Our relationship has never worked. Not even from the beginning but you weren't afraid and neither was I. 

"It has nothing to do with being afraid. I just... finally realized I needed to let you go."

"Why? Because I finally had a moment and was just...pissed off? Look. I know that side of me isn't great...and you'd never experienced it before. But finding out that my own father basically killed his grandchild pushed me over the edge." I said and checked my mirror, the car was trying to drive up beside of us on my side. "Care to hand me one of those guns?"

I checked one and made sure it was loaded then handed it to him. "It wasn't that either. Everyone has a side like that. Hell you've seen mine more times than I can count. But we'd been ripped apart again and again, and every time it just killed us more. Look at what we'd become by the time we were taken from the wilderness. The universe can only give you so many signs before you have no choice but to listen. Even knowing that though, I didn't stop loving you. It took me... a long time to finally let go and move on. I've only slept with Travis once if that tells you anything."

"What do you think the universe is telling us now?" I asked her as I rolled down my window "I'm going to hit the brakes kinda hard." I let her know so she wouldn't be thrown off guard. When I did, it didn't take the car long at all to be right next to us. The guy looked at me with a deer in headlights kind of look as I just smiled and shot him in his worthless face. His car spun as I accelerated again so it wouldn't hit us. I checked my mirror and seen him crashing in the background. "There. Now we can go to Ashlyn."

"Good. I need to make sure she's okay. My cell phone isn't working. And... I don't know what you meant by that question."

"You said the universe can only give us so many signs before you have no choice but to listen. And here we are, together again. Going to pick up our daughter no less."

"What's your point Caleb? You've been out of the picture for over two years. Ashlyn doesn't know you. I'm happily married. This doesn't mean anything outside of me making sure her and the nanny are okay."

"I wasn't out of the picture by choice and she'll know me soon enough because I'm not going anywhere. And why does she have a nanny? Did you start working or something?"

"Yes. I've never been one to just sit around the house, you know that. Still doesn't mean this means anything. We're not going to be together again Caleb, even if you are sticking around. And Travis isn't going anywhere. He's been the only father she's known since the day she was born too. Please keep that in mind. She's not old enough to understand the situation and I won't have her getting confused."

"Ez. I don't have a problem with Travis. He's cared about the two of you and kept you safe when I couldn't. I respect him...honestly. I just don't want to be shut out. Please."

"I never planned on shutting you out Caleb. But do you understand how confusing it would be for Ashlyn to take you in there and say, 'Hey I know you call Travis Daddy but this is your Daddy too'. She won't understand. You can be around as much as you want, I would never keep her from you. I just... don't know how much we should say right now, and what she should refer to you as. I think the three of us - you, me, and Travis - should sit down and discuss it. It affects all of us, but it's going to affect her the most."

"I just think it'd be easier for her to adjust to changes while she's young and not older. She'd ask a million questions and what do we say then? I don't want her to know about all of this shit, Ezra. It's depressing enough as it is."