Caleb & Ezra

"Thanks," I said and put my hand on my stomach again. "Wow. Never thought we'd be here... like this, huh? I didn't think you could stand to be around me."

"Times change, and so do people. Congratulations on the baby, I didn't know."

"Yeah they do. Most people anyway. Some people never change," I said and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, trying hard not to break down again. "And thank you. I just found out. I wasn't feeling good so... after the storm... I went to see Pepper. She told me."

"You can stay here as long as you need to, I don't mind." I told her and chuckled "Carter would be shitting himself if he seen us right now."

I couldn't help but laugh a little and wiped my eyes again. "Yeah he would. So would a lot of other people. You really don't mind if I stay here? I don't... I don't think... I can stay in that house... alone," I whispered. "That was our house... the one Asher... picked out for us."

"I know...you can stay here as long as you need to." I told her and she nodded "Do you remember when we were kids? Before we finally had to grow up? Our childhood was cut off too short wasn't it?"

"Yeah it was. Mine ended though... the first time my father hit me. I grew up pretty quick after that," I said softly.

"My Dad and I got into a rough argument one day. I didn't want to go into the training program or do the illegal fighting anymore. Needless to say he beat the shit out of me, I wouldn't fight him back but he begged me to. Afterwards, I took off to the other districts. I just wanted to walk, I guess. That's when I ran into Asher, he was the first person that I ever met in lower Districts. He almost kicked my ass too but after really seeing all of that for the first time made me realize what a selfish little bastard I'd always been. That's when I started bringing down food and all that and Ezra came up on me in the woods, she almost put an arrow through me."

"I'm sorry... I never knew that about you... or that your father did that." I smiled a little. "Why doesn't that surprise me about her. She's very fierce. But I suppose she's had to be." I sighed. "I was nine years old... the first time my father brought a man into the house... to have sex with me. My sister came home... found out what was going on... She was fifteen and... she took my place." I was whispering now, fresh tears in my eyes. "Afterwards... my father beat us so badly... Said the man hadn't paid him as much because... he'd wanted me instead. I didn't understand... didn't understand why he was angry... didn't understand what the man had wanted... what he'd done to my sister. Not until later."

"He's a bastard, they all make me sick. At least my Dad never bothered Abi, I would have lost my shit if he had done something like that. We're going to be better than them, Timber, How is Linna doing now anyway?"

"Better. A lot better, but I can tell... she still blames herself. She still gets sad all the time, even though she tries to hide it. She really likes Cole though. And... and she's excited about being an aunt. I never thought... never thought we'd be this close again."

"Despite the bad, really good things have came out of all of this too."

"Yes they did. I got my sister back. I didn't think that would ever happen. When she showed up here though... I couldn't let anything happen to her. She took care of me so many times... when we were growing up. I knew this time I had to take care of her."

"Did you and Asher work that out before he left?" I asked "He wasn't happy about her showing up."

"No he wasn't. He was far from happy about it. We did work it out though. He told me he was sorry for the way he acted and said he wants... wanted to... talk to Linna when he got back...." I sighed, my breath shaky. "Now he's... now he's not coming back," I whispered and wiped at my eyes when I felt more tears. "God I still can't believe it. He always seemed so... invincible. Never scared of anything."
 

"I know, somehow we have to hold it together and keep living. But I know it'll be really hard at first, but you'll have a baby to live for and your baby will have a sibling too. If Asher is gone physically, he'll always be here in spirit."

"He'll never get to hold his babies," I whispered. "They'll never know... how much he would've loved them... because he won't be here to show it. Words can only tell you so much," I said, my hand on my belly.

I didn't know what to say to that, but it was true enough. "Whether he's here or not, they'll still know plenty about him and then some."

"I hope you're right. I'll tell my baby... every day how wonderful his father was. And if it's a boy... if it's a boy I think I'll name him Asher."

"He'd love that, Timber." I said, managing a smile "And you'll be a great mother."

"Thanks Caleb. I'm really gonna try. Do you really think I will be?"

"Yeah, I really do." I managed a smile even though Asher's death was hurting me too "If you want to rest I'll show you to your room."

I nodded. "I think I should try. I need to get the girls into bed first though," I said and slowly got up. I got Jaclyn and Susannah to sleep then came back in the living room. "Thanks Caleb."

"You're welcome Timber." I said and helped her to the bedroom "If you need anything, let me know." I said and shut the door gently.

I stood there for a minute then laid down slowly on the bed, not even bothering to undress. I pulled a pillow to me and hugged it tightly as the tears came again, harder than before, until I was sobbing, my body shaking. I buried my face in the pillow, muffling my sobs, and cried myself to sleep.